wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
