Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
you had me at cake vodka
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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