I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
