I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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