It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I need a beard to bite.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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