I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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