the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
