I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
two words...techno handjob
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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