I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
