can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
