My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
