every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
is wine microwaveable?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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