Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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