This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Also, beer. Big fan.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
