This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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