Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
