She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
