Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
