I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
