we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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