I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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