So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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