I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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