I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
