and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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