so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
