i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
