lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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