I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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