just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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