Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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