You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
