my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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