do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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