I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
