how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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