He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
