it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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