He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
