I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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