His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i barfeds in our rink
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
