Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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