My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
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