I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
