I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Semen is not good for contacts.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
