I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
