This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
