i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
