at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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