I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
