you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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