I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
